Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize