it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
