There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
