We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
