Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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