i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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