I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
