I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
