i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i need some magic done to my vagina
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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