I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
