I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
