In America we eat man semen.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
