do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
