its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
