so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
