We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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