I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
