Umm I'm too high to move.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
