EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
