There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize