Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
