i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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