I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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