How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
foreskin is a definite game changer
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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