I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
