I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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