I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
