You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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