I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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