What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
