I like to think it a success when the cops are called
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I didn't notice because vodka
You're a waste of cheezeits
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Of course I have a pirate flag
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
