How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
