Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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