She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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