i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
