In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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