I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
