Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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