Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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