Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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