the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My ass is underappreciated
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
