love makes seman taste better
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize