I wish I could punch you in the face.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
