Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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