i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
