Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
They took my balls.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
