I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
