It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
