I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
