iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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