I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
