No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
her vagine was all disorganized.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
