So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
