My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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