Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
