my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
