covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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