Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
