This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
