I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
