Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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