You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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