i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize