Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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