3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
