it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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