we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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