i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
