Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
