Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
