i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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