I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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