The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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