So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
