Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
