I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
