But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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