My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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