did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
