I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
