If i come over, it means nothing
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she smelled like a LAN party
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
